A Gideon Fleece
Confession: I have a Gideon Fleece.
My daughter used to wear this oversized, furry, snow white fleece to keep her toasty on blissful winter days. She loved to bundle up and feel the warmth of its cozy wool while she played outside and braved the elements. But like kids do, she outgrew the fluffy over-throw, not in size, but in novelty. And so, like most old things, it ended up on my closet floor in the “Goodwill” pile. And there it sat…
And as seasons change, there came a point when I found myself walking through a particularly hard one. I was praying for an answer to a request from the Lord for what felt like an inordinate amount of time, and yet, He remained silent. I remember standing in my closet one day, panning through clothes, mindlessly searching for something to wear, and somewhere between a grey tank and a pair of jeans, I found myself aching to hear an answer from God for my ongoing plea. The moment we reach our tipping point, when a circumstance seems heavier than we can bear, and it feels like our very next breath hinges upon hearing from heaven, this is the place, on bended knee on the closet floor, that I found myself doing what Gideon did in desperation, reaching for a fleece.
“So Gideon said to God, ‘If You will save Israel by my hand as You have said—look, I shall put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor; if there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that You will save Israel by my hand, as You have said.’ And it was so. When he arose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece together, a bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, ‘Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just once more: Let me test, I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the fleece, but on all the ground let there be dew.’ And God did so that night. It was dry on the fleece only, but there was dew on all the ground.” (Judges 6:36-40)
There in my closet, much like the threshing floor, God spoke. Unlike the passage above, I did not use a fleece for proof, I used it for padding while I sought His face. It cradled my knees as I bent in humble adoration before the King of Kings as He ministered to my needy soul, all the while grateful for Gideon’s example of feeling wholly insufficient. Ever reminding me of Gods loving-kindness to His children and His overreaching patience with our glaring insecurities.
We’re not too far from Gideon’s insecurities, or I’m not anyway. Sometimes we all just need a “sign” from God that we are hearing Him correctly. A God wink of some sort, perhaps a raven in a Cherith season, some falling manna, the parting of a red sea; Or, maybe we just need a quiet place, a longing spirit, and open ears. Hearing the Holy Spirits gentle whisper while kneeling on a fleece, is perhaps as great a miracle as Gideon’s fleece, soaked in mercy and dripping with grace.
God knew Gideon needed a sign, and He knows what you and I need too. And in his overwhelming love for us, He provides a glimpse of His glory when our hearts need it most. A blessed assurance that He is with us. There’s something sacred about that fleece. I feel closer to God when I’m kneeling on it. I picture Gideon pouring His heart out to God, asking his Father to provide a sign answering his longing questions, “Are you sure God? How long is this going to last God? Can You hear me?” We all have a little bit of Gideon in us.
That’s the thing about confessions, they don’t always reveal the glamorous side of faith. They uncover our doubts and shed light on our fears. God doesn’t have to wet the fleece for me to know He will make a way when the circumstances are overwhelming and the odds, like Gideon’s, are seemingly not in my favor. This is God’s sweet spot. The place where His glory is on display. When human beings cannot take credit, and our self-reliance is futile. Each time I kneel before Him, He uses these moments to build my faith.
Which continually brings me back to my little white fleece.
